MMO community helps player reclaim "stolen" item with sage advice like "ruin his life" because "this is RuneScape," and somehow it actually works

17.10.2023 - 19:49 / gamesradar.com

The Old School RuneScape community has successfully helped one player navigate a somewhat relatable, somewhat worrying family feud over an item allegedly stolen in the MMO, all thanks to tactful advice like "ruin his life." 

A few days ago, Reddit user MethIsntCool (who I'm going to call MIC) shared their plight with the OSRS subreddit. "My cousin stole my Kodai Wand," they said. "How can I ask for it back without starting family drama?" 

A Kodai Wand is a valuable weapon used for spellcasting, worth about 95 million gold at the time of writing – peanuts to some players, but a sizable fortune to others. MIC says they loaned their Kodai Wand to their cousin a few years ago when they understandably took a break from OSRS to focus on raising their first child. "As no one quits RuneScape forever, I made it clear I would want it back upon my return," they add, leaning into the 'no quitting, only long breaks' mentality that dominates the loyal OSRS player base. 

MIC has since returned to OSRS, having "tricked [his] wife into letting me be the stay at home parent," and run into a problem. "During my break, my cousin 'quit' the game… with my Kodai Wand still in his bank," he explains. "My cousin now has a child of his own, and wrongly believes RuneScape cannot be his priority anymore." 

This left MIC with a quandary. "I will be seeing my cousin in person for Thanksgiving, and I am trying to think of a tactful way to ask for my Kodai Wand back. We are both grown-ass adults with families. How can I successfully pull him aside and ask this man to log into his childhood point-and-click game, navigate the two-factor authenticator he hasn't used in over a year, and buy membership so he can trade me my magic wand?"

I realize this whole thing has been played up for laughs, but I do want to point out that forgetting about a wand in a video game amidst the rush of parenting doesn't amount to stealing something, especially when the owner hasn't even asked for it back yet. Besides, life isn't a sitcom and this seems like one of those things that could be settled with a simple "please" over a phone call or DM. Having faced similar conundrums in OSRS when I was a middle school student, I speak from experience. Thankfully, the MMO's famously diplomatic community was immensely helpful in navigating this exchange. 

For example, the top reply to MIC's post, from GatoDiablo99, reckons he should simply, "Beat him the fuck up. Fuck that little punk. Get your shit back. Don’t be an adult about it. Cause havoc. Ruin his life. This is RuneScape. More important than his dumbass child."

"Finally, some level-headed advice," MIC replied. 

BurlyGiraffe, meanwhile, advised playing "the long game." Why get the wand back now when you could