Larian Studios has explained why Baldur’s Gate 3 might never come to Xbox‘s Game Pass subscription service.
01.12.2023 - 17:46 / pcgamer.com / Ted Litchfield / Michael Douse
The latest patch of Baldur's Gate 3 has a lot of quality-of-life updates. It has a lovely little epilogue, a gnarly new honour mode that's been giving Ted Litchfield spikes in his blood pressure, among many other tune-ups and fixes. And uh, schlong physics. Did we mention the schlong physics? Because Larian sure didn't.
I'd show you proof, but while PC Gamer writes for adults and we all assume you won't faint if you see the word 'penis', I think actively uploading a video of my tiefling's pocket flail slapping around might be a step too far. Just—if you have a character with a penis, you can test it yourself. The update's live. Go with god.
What's more, this change isn't even in the full patch notes from what I can see, though it's definitely new with Patch 5. Unless I've just been erasing the note from my memory every time I find it like some kind of SCP. I've Ctrl + F'd every penile synonym and slang, and I feel like I'm starting to spiral into some kind of lovecraftian madness.
I've reached out to Larian for comment (and apologised profusely in the email, this is the last thing anyone from the studio wants to deal with after such a huge achievement) but I can't let this go. Especially when Michael Douse, director of publishing at Larian Studios, casually retweeted this post from jumpscared user ghoulbrainz.
I just—I cannot find any mention of this in the patch notes. Radio silence from Larian so far. Just Douse's solitary retweet. Sitting there. Taunting me as my tiefling's pendulum swings like the sword of damocles overhead.
What baffles me is that this patch is already so large, and yet somehow—in between the over 3,000 lines of new recorded dialogue, during what must have been a mammoth effort work innumerable story threads into Withers' epilogue, while a whole new difficulty mode with revamped bosses was being created, someone at the studio had the time to do… this.
A team of people, even. They sat down, they added penis jiggle physics to the game, and they didn't even put it in the patch notes. Just leaving it in there like a flashbang ready to stunlock anyone who had the misfortune of taking their character's pants off (me). Silent heroes, bringing forth jiggle equality before vanishing myth-like into the night.
Larian Studios has explained why Baldur’s Gate 3 might never come to Xbox‘s Game Pass subscription service.
Baldur’s Gate 3’s Xbox Series X|S version is apparently still experiencing some save data issues, but players have been reassured that they now seem to be much rarer following a recent firmware update.
Baldur's Gate 3 will not be coming to Game Pass, even now the game is available on Xbox.
Microsoft has offered some tips designed to tackle an issue that can result in Baldur’s Gate 3 saves being lost on Xbox Series X/S.
The developer of Baldur’s Gate 3 has issued an update on the deleted save bug that’s affecting the recently released Xbox version of the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game.
The work Belgian developer Larian Studios has put into getting the Xbox Series S version of Baldur's Gate 3 up to snuff will result in performance improvements for all the platforms the RPG is available on, including PS5. The upgrades will arrive as part of the game's fifth major patch, which is expected to go live this week — more details will be shared later today along with confirmation of new features.
Baldur's Gate 3's massive Update 5 rolled out last week, bringing a swathe of changes and fixes, new features like Honour Mode, an all-new epilogue, and even making Minthara easier to recruit. The list of tweaks is extensive and detailed, but developer Larian Studios left at least one big swinging surprise for players to discover in their own time.
Baldur’s Gate 3 received its Patch 5 update this week, adding a host of new features including the grueling endurance run called Honour Mode. Today, Larian Studios shared how many have cleared the challenge thus far, and it’s quite humbling.
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Baldur's Gate 3 patch 5 was jam-packed with big gameplay features like a punishing new difficulty tier, a D&D-inspired custom mode, an expanded epilogue for the core characters, and a long-awaited inventory fix. One thing the mammoth patch notes didn't mention was enhanced penis physics, but the RPG's tirelessly horny community spotted this change almost instantly and wasted no time putting these physically simulated bits through their paces.
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Baldur's Gate 3's next major patch is on its way—scheduled to release this week, according to Larian Studios' director of publishing, Michael Douse. Announced in a Twitter post yesterday, Douse reassures players: «we caught the nasty bug causing slowdowns and the good news is: it’s fixed in Patch 5!»