Escape from Bug Island for Wii is at the breathtaking peak of garbage

02.10.2023 - 22:43 / destructoid.com

After the Wii’s release, we went through a period of denial. We were promised that it was motion controls – not the next generation of graphical splendor – that would carry video games into the future. But while Wii Sports was fun, we wanted to see what motion controls could do outside a set of family-friendly minigame compilations. The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess didn’t make very good use of the controls, but it was really a port of a GameCube title. So, we just needed to wait a bit longer, and the vision Nintendo promised us would eventually arrive.

Sometime before, we just gave up and realized that motion controls just kind of suck in general, Escape from Bug Island hit the shelves. The only thing I really knew about it was that it was terrible. Even during a software drought that would only be relieved by Virtual Console games and Metroid Prime 3, I knew not to touch Escape from Bug Island. And I never did.

Since 2007, I’ve been building Escape from Bug Island up in my head as my own personal densetsu no kusoge (crap game of legend). From the moment I started doing this column, I knew I wanted to take on Escape from Bug Island. But somehow, despite having seen it staring at me from all kinds of discount bins and bargain racks over the years, I couldn’t find a copy of it. Until now.

First off, I want to say that Escape from Bug Island frequently crashed my Wii U whenever I tried to launch it. While the case for the game is yellowed, as if it sat in a dingy rental place for a decade, the disc is immaculate, almost as if it has never been played. But it’s like my Wii U was offended I was feeding it this game. Three out of the five times I tried launching the game, it crashed the whole system. The Wii U wouldn’t even shut off if I held the power button. I had to unplug it to reset it. Incredible.

Escape from Bug Island is a somewhat inaccurate description of the premise of the game. There’s a boat docked right in the starting area. You could leave so damned easily. But the dude you play as is just so damned desperate for sex that he’s willing to overcome an island filled with his worst nightmares to reunite with a girl that he sort of, kind of likes.

I think Escape from Bug Island carries a title similar to a B horror movie because Eidos knew it was terrible. It was originally released in 2006 in Japan under the title Necro-Nesia and, according to Nintendo Power (Vol. 214), was so bad that it prompted the publisher to ask for some changes before releasing it in the West. These are largely token and superficial tweaks that did nothing to save the overall product.

But what the title did get right is that it does take place on an island filled with bugs. Giant insects, to be precise, but it’s also