Rock around the Christmas tree with Dracula Cha Cha and Christmas Pain In Christmas Town

22.12.2023 - 17:17 / rockpapershotgun.com / Christmas Eve

I'm going to toss out two more of my RPS Christmas traditions together because frankly it's the last workday of the year and I'm in a tizzy. I trust you will pace yourself and enjoy these traditions responsibily, like a Cadbury selection box. Or slam right through them, that's fine too. After playing Skeal got your toe tapping to the beat and your heart pounding with power and pleasure, you're ready to trash Christmas with a catchy tune in Dracula Cha Cha. And after Skeal also prepped you for pain, oh, here we go: it's Christmas Pain In Christmas Town.

First! Dracula Cha Cha is a one-button platformer in the style of Konami's Tomena Sanner series, where Dracula goes for a walk in a winter wonderland. You can download it for free over here, so do so. Collect power-ups! Destroy snowmen with your Dracula karate! Get in a dance-off with the Grinch! All the Christmas stuff. And experience the festive spirit from Jim Lowe's Green Door, a song which is very much not a Christmas song but has, with repeat exposure from this Christmas tradition, absolutely become a Christmas song to me.

I can't help it. While supposed inspirations range from a Missouri restaurant to London's first lesbian club, to me it's a song about Christmas Eve. "Midnight, one more night without sleeping. Watching 'til that morning comes creeping." If you then let the groove take over your body and stop paying attention to the lyrics, absolutely this is a Christmas song. Same as how Bruce Springsteen's Born In The U.S.A. has become a patriotic anthem. As Christmas Eve draws nearer, Green Door is playing on a loop in the back of my head.

Next song! Christmas Pain In Christmas Town is from excellent 90s Internet detective game Hypnospace Outlaw. It's one of several songs written by an in-fiction musician known as The Chowder Man, songs which in our reality are by Hot Dad (with bonus Dave Pino on guitar here). This one is a clumsy yet heartfelt Christmas song, a maximalist wall of sound blasting reflection, regret, and Christmas. I rarely listen to much video game music outside games but, as I've explained in previous years, I genuinely adore this as a piece of Christmas pop music. And the video is a delight:

I am still waiting for Carly Rae Jepsen to record a cover version. Please, Carly Rae.

Hypnoheads might also enjoy Liam's reviews and ranking of Chowder Man songs. Yes, of course he made the correct decision.

I've spent the day trying to find the words to explain why Christmas Pain resonates even more with me this year but honestly let's not. It's fine, really, and a bit funny. Floating in the frigid sea for the solstice this morning, I told a friend all about my situation and she rolled her eyes so hard that she almost drowned. Those who